I've been striving for the magic.
You know, the magic. That rythm, that feeling, that flow- when everything just goes, whoosh, and there's no pressure or stress?
Okay, so maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe I'm an idealist. Maybe I'm not grounded in reality at all... as was evident today, when the magic was distinctively missing from a couple of my interactions with my toddler. Mainly, the issues of cookies, and bedtime. Serious enough stuff, right?
Anyways, in all of the hubbub of moving, as we emerge into this new way of life, this new living space, this new start, magic has been weighing on my mind. Of course, I want to have a magical relationship with my child, I want to have a magical way of life, and above all, I want her to have a magical childhood. I spend a good deal of time reading about how to make this happen- toys, games, crafts, activities, places to visit, ways to interact, general mindsets.
But how much of this is lost in translation?
How many activities, crafts, etc. seemed sweet and amazing and clever and fun at the time when I first read or saw them, but were quickly lost to the depths of my incouragable imagination and pauseless brain?
My resolution (because resolutions are for every day, any day, not just that one first day of the new year) is to put all that I wish to be, all that I wish to create, into action. Beginning now.
What do I want to do for February?
I want to finish our calendar. (We bought a calendar at Whole Foods in December, with room to create your own picture for every month. The Monkey did January with a little help from me, and it was adorable.)
I want to tape big peices of drawing paper up on the walls at toddler-height, and let her go at it and make art. We've done this before with huge success.
I want to cut out hearts out of construction paper, and punch holes in them, and decorate them, and string them up across one part of the ceiling for Valentine's Day.
I want to get those cardboard blue-and-red-and-yellow blocks for her.
I want to get a tunnel (which I think we have, somewhere.)
I want to get a big playrug.
I want to make this for VDay.
I want to plan a beautiful, simple, affordable, green wedding. Mine.
I want to really grow into our new space, make it a home. Ours.
So there you go. Just some of what on my mind. But, understanding my difficulty putting thought into action, I'm going to go now, and practice what I ... well, think.